Multiplesclerosis for 2 Minutes, 4 minutes, 6 minutes...

Instead of getting a glass of water and drinking it, I decided to challenge myself and try the task of toileting. I used two pair of white cotton socks on my hands, immediately I felt the impairment (although my hands were nice and warm). I had to make a conscious effort to not move my fingers, or thumb. I first ran into the problem of opening the doorknob to my bathroom, as unfortunately it was closed. Immediately after gripping the knob with the ulnar side of my wrist and attempting to turn it, I thought about the fact that I would probably fail in my attempt to open the door and would need to call for help. After managing to open the door somehow, I now was faced with the issue of pulling down my pants, fortunately I had on sweatpants and was able to place my hands at my sides and wiggle them off and down. My biggest dilemma soon awaits as I sit on the toilet, WIPING. It took me a moment to figure out exactly how this should be done. After pulling the tissue off the roll with my left hand under the sheet and right hand on top of the sheet and onto my lap, I naturally wanted to bunch the tissue up in my fingers. So after placing a considerable amount of tissue onto my lap, I thought about how wasteful I was becoming (with the excess toilet tissue) since I didn't want to "dirty" the socks on my hand because of my lack of sensation on my hands to wipe myself. I then decided that I would wrap the tissue around my right hand to secure it so that I could wipe since I was unable to grip it to wipe. The worst was now over, or so I thought. The next thing I would have to do is pull up my pants without pinching or grasping. I put my hands on the inside of my pants and my socks provided some type of friction against my sweatpants so that they kind up rose up over my knees together, and then I made a big "lift" over my rear. I flushed and of course had to ignore the attempt to wash my hands. Now I had to use the same wrist technique to open the door knob to get out of the bathroom.

REFLECTION:
I realized that a 2 minute task turned into something that took more like 6+ minutes. I was also a little embarrassed by the fact that as soon as I couldn't do something or was faced with a challenge I felt to lazy to overcome, I thought about calling someone else to help me. I now understand how important independence is for individuals in these circumstances because there isn't always someone available in the home to help, or someone who is even willing to help. Taking this long to do certain ADLs can be time consuming and routine altering for newly injured or affected individuals who may need to practice these tasks over and over to become more efficient in them. I also learned that sensation is something that is hard to "fake" or pretend to not have. It is something we have no control over and happens instantaneously, I was able to feel the doorknob, toilet tissue being wrapped around my hand, the wiping of myself, flushing, and undressing and redressing myself even though I had two pairs of socks on. Ultimately, I wouldn't want to be someone is this situation, but more importantly I have a new found respect for their daily routine and things that we can do much more easily than they can.